Until next time...
3 days ago
8.23.2010
8.16.2010
Time | the thief of my good intentions
“Life is short and if you're looking for extension, you had best do well. 'Cause there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell.”
Ben Harper
It was a sunny day in August and I was running. The air was still and fresh and although I left the house in the early morning hours filled with frustration and zero desire to move my body, my feet propelled me forward and out the door I went. Those moments are typically quiet. They are the moments when I can sing out loud and be fairly confident that no one will hear me. They are the moments when I am not reading some drab textbook, responding to yet another research article, or answering to one of three small children. They have come to be the moments of quiet that I cherish. They have also come to be the moments of quiet that I detest. For in these moments my brain is without distraction and the reel of my life and where I am today spins so fast that it makes me dizzy sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong – life is a grand adventure and I love it! More than anything these are the moments when some of the small stuff hits me and makes me feel a slight pang of - dare I say… regret? It’s these little things that used to define who I am, or was, that I can’t seem to ever get to. It’s all of my “grand intentions” to match my intangible deeds that bring out that feeling of regret.
Unlike a 101 in 1001 list (which I wish this one could be) – these remain intentions…nothing more, not just yet. Behind this feeling of regret lies a realist – a realist who knows good and well that I have one more year of graduate school, three small children to lovingly raise, and a life to live. See, that’s where the regret comes in. I regret that I didn’t use the time when I had it – now knee deep in adulthood and living the life of what is supposed to be a “grown up” – time is a fleeting beast. And so, for my own therapeutic purposes…
my (short) list of good intentions:
1. Take a picture of Zoey with her messenger bag that my sweet friend took her time to sew just for her – and send it… to the seamstress, of course
2. Take a picture of Drew with his blankie that his great grandmother took her time to sew just for him – and send it…to the seamstress, of course
3. Print pictures of my own kids beyond 2003 and put them in frames
4. Send good, old-fashioned thank you notes – like the Hallmark daughter I was raised to be.
5. Send my nieces and nephews birthday gifts – within at least the same month of their birthday
6. Read a book that is not related to teaching, English language learners, or history
7. Go to church
8. Make Livy a quilt
9. Finish Livy’s baby book (yup, she’s creeping up on eight)
10. Finish Drew’s baby book (see a trend yet?)
11. Paint a picture with Drew
12. Sort through the boxes of photos and memories in the garage and actually savor them, find a home for them, and keep them near to be enjoyed
13. Write down the funny (and sometimes not so funny) things my kids say
14. Listen to people…truly listen
15. Delete my Facebook account (for obvious reasons, this is on the intention list – because it will probably never happen – although if I did delete it, the above fourteen items would probably make it from the “intentions” list to the “deeds accomplished” list)
There's more...lots more, but this is about all the self-deprecating I can take for one day.
As I tip toe up on my thirty fifth year, I hope that I can look back at this list and stop to think before I say yes to anything. I want to say yes to more of what’s real and no to more of what isn’t. Maybe I’ll make a “When I’m 35 I will … list” – a capital idea!
All this is just to say that I miss the days of not being so busy, having more time than I know what to do with, and finding true happiness sitting in the center of a tire swing.
Ben Harper
It was a sunny day in August and I was running. The air was still and fresh and although I left the house in the early morning hours filled with frustration and zero desire to move my body, my feet propelled me forward and out the door I went. Those moments are typically quiet. They are the moments when I can sing out loud and be fairly confident that no one will hear me. They are the moments when I am not reading some drab textbook, responding to yet another research article, or answering to one of three small children. They have come to be the moments of quiet that I cherish. They have also come to be the moments of quiet that I detest. For in these moments my brain is without distraction and the reel of my life and where I am today spins so fast that it makes me dizzy sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong – life is a grand adventure and I love it! More than anything these are the moments when some of the small stuff hits me and makes me feel a slight pang of - dare I say… regret? It’s these little things that used to define who I am, or was, that I can’t seem to ever get to. It’s all of my “grand intentions” to match my intangible deeds that bring out that feeling of regret.
Unlike a 101 in 1001 list (which I wish this one could be) – these remain intentions…nothing more, not just yet. Behind this feeling of regret lies a realist – a realist who knows good and well that I have one more year of graduate school, three small children to lovingly raise, and a life to live. See, that’s where the regret comes in. I regret that I didn’t use the time when I had it – now knee deep in adulthood and living the life of what is supposed to be a “grown up” – time is a fleeting beast. And so, for my own therapeutic purposes…
my (short) list of good intentions:
1. Take a picture of Zoey with her messenger bag that my sweet friend took her time to sew just for her – and send it… to the seamstress, of course
2. Take a picture of Drew with his blankie that his great grandmother took her time to sew just for him – and send it…to the seamstress, of course
3. Print pictures of my own kids beyond 2003 and put them in frames
4. Send good, old-fashioned thank you notes – like the Hallmark daughter I was raised to be.
5. Send my nieces and nephews birthday gifts – within at least the same month of their birthday
6. Read a book that is not related to teaching, English language learners, or history
7. Go to church
8. Make Livy a quilt
9. Finish Livy’s baby book (yup, she’s creeping up on eight)
10. Finish Drew’s baby book (see a trend yet?)
11. Paint a picture with Drew
12. Sort through the boxes of photos and memories in the garage and actually savor them, find a home for them, and keep them near to be enjoyed
13. Write down the funny (and sometimes not so funny) things my kids say
14. Listen to people…truly listen
15. Delete my Facebook account (for obvious reasons, this is on the intention list – because it will probably never happen – although if I did delete it, the above fourteen items would probably make it from the “intentions” list to the “deeds accomplished” list)
There's more...lots more, but this is about all the self-deprecating I can take for one day.
As I tip toe up on my thirty fifth year, I hope that I can look back at this list and stop to think before I say yes to anything. I want to say yes to more of what’s real and no to more of what isn’t. Maybe I’ll make a “When I’m 35 I will … list” – a capital idea!
All this is just to say that I miss the days of not being so busy, having more time than I know what to do with, and finding true happiness sitting in the center of a tire swing.
8.05.2010
JULY! | Hooray for beaches (and sunshine)
Here we are in the dreaded month of August (dreaded only because my summer is slipping out of my grasp faster than a popsicle on a 97 degree day). Pictures from July have made it to the sorting bin and so I shall share: a wonderfully fabulous trip to the beach and our first tent camping adventure of the season. Pace yourself... it may be a bit before I get the rest of July up. It was a wacky wild KoolAid style month (if that doesn't take you back to 1988, I don't know what will).
7.28.2010
July | new bikes
As promised, more to myself than anything, I am slowly updating Zolirew one post at a time. At least I am now posting pics from the month that we are currently in. I choose not to acknowledge that July will be over in three short days and then it will be August and I'll still be posting July pics probably through September. With August comes the last month of the summer, the last month of almost promised daily sunshine, and the last month of being able to acceptably go to bed at 1am and get up at 9am.
Wow. I got off track there. End of summer anxiety is slowly starting to creep up on me but I will stay strong...as long as I can!
In June it became painfully clear that ALL three of our children had outgrown their bikes, so much so that we often found ourselves humming that circus theme song, "Entrance of the Gladiators" as we watched them attempt to peddle around outside. With this discovery came the equally painful realization that with early and late fall birthdays, the summer would be a distant memory if we waited to get them new bikes as birthday gifts. What to do? Well... if you're a grad student living off student loans, what you do is go ahead and buy the bikes and then make your kids pay for them by selling their old toys, clothes, and old bikes at a garage sale. Then you make them your personal servants for the rest of the summer and pay them about 25 cents per chore, to be deducted from their bike debt. In our household, it's also not out of the question to rob your children of their tooth fairy money... if that money is used to pay for a bike, of course.
And so it began, the summer of teaching your nine and seven year olds how to wash, dry, and fold laundry. The summer of having them water the lawn, scoop dog doo, and scrub toilets. The summer of no longer having to sweep or mop a kitchen floor because we have two perfectly able bodied kids to do that, right? Ah...it's been nice! I'm sad to report that Zoey has now paid for her bike and Livy is nearly there. We'll be back to the chore of being responsible parents in no time. It was fun while it lasted.
Here the girls are on their new bikes, and Drew on his old bike (which he is far too tall for, but someone has a birthday coming up - thankfully we had one summer baby).
Wow. I got off track there. End of summer anxiety is slowly starting to creep up on me but I will stay strong...as long as I can!
In June it became painfully clear that ALL three of our children had outgrown their bikes, so much so that we often found ourselves humming that circus theme song, "Entrance of the Gladiators" as we watched them attempt to peddle around outside. With this discovery came the equally painful realization that with early and late fall birthdays, the summer would be a distant memory if we waited to get them new bikes as birthday gifts. What to do? Well... if you're a grad student living off student loans, what you do is go ahead and buy the bikes and then make your kids pay for them by selling their old toys, clothes, and old bikes at a garage sale. Then you make them your personal servants for the rest of the summer and pay them about 25 cents per chore, to be deducted from their bike debt. In our household, it's also not out of the question to rob your children of their tooth fairy money... if that money is used to pay for a bike, of course.
And so it began, the summer of teaching your nine and seven year olds how to wash, dry, and fold laundry. The summer of having them water the lawn, scoop dog doo, and scrub toilets. The summer of no longer having to sweep or mop a kitchen floor because we have two perfectly able bodied kids to do that, right? Ah...it's been nice! I'm sad to report that Zoey has now paid for her bike and Livy is nearly there. We'll be back to the chore of being responsible parents in no time. It was fun while it lasted.
Here the girls are on their new bikes, and Drew on his old bike (which he is far too tall for, but someone has a birthday coming up - thankfully we had one summer baby).
7.16.2010
recital time | June 2010
With the end of school and the end of June comes the much anticipated dance recital in this small little town. It's quite the ordeal, at least for the mother of two tiny dancers who appear in a combined five dances. The bobby-pins, the hairspray, the tights, the driving, the practicing, the mid year whine of "I don't like dance anymore!" It all culminates on this one wondrous day...and what a day it is.
Actually, Zoey danced on two nights - the older, big girls get to perform not once, but twice. In my mind when I see that on the schedule I see... two nights of torturous hair styling and subsequent cleaning and detangling. Oof! I can safely say I would never be a Toddlers with Tiaras mom - it's just not my bag. BUT, I have to admit, once I see those girls shine so beautifully on stage it's all worth it. As long as they love it (aside from the winter burnout and whine) we'll keep busying our June with the details of dance.
Actually, Zoey danced on two nights - the older, big girls get to perform not once, but twice. In my mind when I see that on the schedule I see... two nights of torturous hair styling and subsequent cleaning and detangling. Oof! I can safely say I would never be a Toddlers with Tiaras mom - it's just not my bag. BUT, I have to admit, once I see those girls shine so beautifully on stage it's all worth it. As long as they love it (aside from the winter burnout and whine) we'll keep busying our June with the details of dance.
7.11.2010
June | swim swim
The best Zolirew updates happen when I have a boat load of homework sitting in front of me. The recent updates are indicative of two things 1) I have a boat load of homework still sitting in front of me and 2) as was true in the 1997, I still have a problem with procrastination.
We started summer season off right away by signing all three kids up for swimming lessons the first week after school got out. I figured that way we wouldn't get in the habit of going to bed too late and then lazily sleeping in all summer long. It worked...during the two weeks of swimming lessons.
Zoey is a little swimming superstar at the ripe old age of almost ten. She's been taking lessons of one form or another once a year since she was only 6 months old. She finally has graduated and her swimming instructor told her she could join the swim team or just swim for fun, but there was no need for lessons anymore. That should make August easy when Liv and Drew take their second round. Erg.
Livy, my little fish, did swimmingly. She, of the three, is the greatest lover of water so these swimming lessons are one of the highlights of her summer. Getting her out of the water is not the highlight of my summer.
Drew...well, Drew has a fear of water and said daily, "I don't wanna swim, Momma, the water will sink me!" Over the course of eight lessons he gradually became a little less fearful. We still have some work to do. In all fairness the kid did fall off a dock last summer and was nearly swept away to the sea over spring break - his fear is far from unfounded.
Some pics of my little fishies:
We started summer season off right away by signing all three kids up for swimming lessons the first week after school got out. I figured that way we wouldn't get in the habit of going to bed too late and then lazily sleeping in all summer long. It worked...during the two weeks of swimming lessons.
Zoey is a little swimming superstar at the ripe old age of almost ten. She's been taking lessons of one form or another once a year since she was only 6 months old. She finally has graduated and her swimming instructor told her she could join the swim team or just swim for fun, but there was no need for lessons anymore. That should make August easy when Liv and Drew take their second round. Erg.
Livy, my little fish, did swimmingly. She, of the three, is the greatest lover of water so these swimming lessons are one of the highlights of her summer. Getting her out of the water is not the highlight of my summer.
Drew...well, Drew has a fear of water and said daily, "I don't wanna swim, Momma, the water will sink me!" Over the course of eight lessons he gradually became a little less fearful. We still have some work to do. In all fairness the kid did fall off a dock last summer and was nearly swept away to the sea over spring break - his fear is far from unfounded.
Some pics of my little fishies:
7.07.2010
last published post May 19, 2010 | eek
The list of excuses I have for my Zolirew negligence are long and uninteresting - but I'll share a few: with the middle of May came the end of spring term and marked the end of one year of graduate school (with only one left to go). And with the end of spring term came the dreaded 85+ page work sample... a crazy insane document that really (most likely) will be read by no one. Just another hoop to jump through, so I jump. Then there was the end of the school year which always comes with last minute field trips, field day, 5th grade graduation, assemblies...you name it. For a time, I felt like I lived at the elementary school and not at home. What other grand excuses can I muster? Let's see... Steve's summer job, repainting bedrooms, camping on beaches, the list goes on.
With Zolirew - all I can do is pick up where I left off and go from there.
Forgive my late posts.
Here are Zoey and Livy on their last day of school with their teachers (who may well kill me for posting these). I want to thank Livy's teacher for being so patient, kind, sweet, and caring toward Livy all year long. For nurturing her creative spirit, waiting for her to find her way in line, and comforting her when she felt the world had wronged her...and of course for furthering her knowledge of reading, writing, and arithmetic! She had "the best yeawr evewr!"
And, as for Zoey's teacher(s) - where to begin... Zoey had the incredible fortune of having not one teacher, but two teachers! The frequent volunteer in her third grade classroom is not only the wife of her regular teacher, but a certified teacher herself. The benefits were indescribable. I think every classroom should have two teachers! Thank you to this husband/wife team for encouraging Zoey to reach higher, try harder, and expect nothing but the best of herself. She truly loved third grade and still talks about the things she learned within those classroom walls. I'm ashamed to admit, she even teaches us a thing or two on a fairly regular basis.
More to come soon... I mean it this time!
With Zolirew - all I can do is pick up where I left off and go from there.
Forgive my late posts.
Here are Zoey and Livy on their last day of school with their teachers (who may well kill me for posting these). I want to thank Livy's teacher for being so patient, kind, sweet, and caring toward Livy all year long. For nurturing her creative spirit, waiting for her to find her way in line, and comforting her when she felt the world had wronged her...and of course for furthering her knowledge of reading, writing, and arithmetic! She had "the best yeawr evewr!"
And, as for Zoey's teacher(s) - where to begin... Zoey had the incredible fortune of having not one teacher, but two teachers! The frequent volunteer in her third grade classroom is not only the wife of her regular teacher, but a certified teacher herself. The benefits were indescribable. I think every classroom should have two teachers! Thank you to this husband/wife team for encouraging Zoey to reach higher, try harder, and expect nothing but the best of herself. She truly loved third grade and still talks about the things she learned within those classroom walls. I'm ashamed to admit, she even teaches us a thing or two on a fairly regular basis.
More to come soon... I mean it this time!
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